I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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