fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
