she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
so let's talk penis.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
