My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
