i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
she pinky promised me she was 18
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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