He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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