So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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