dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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