I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
