A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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