Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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