The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
