LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize