i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
oh god the rape fog is back!
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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