I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
