Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
