I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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