Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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