your room smells of hookers.
And success
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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