We named our party play list daddy issues
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
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