Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
last night I used snow as a chaser
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
