I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
