I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
