Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
