Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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