I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
