and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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