I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
