Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
