You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
