did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
