He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
