I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
