I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
