Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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