Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
My vagina is very pro this idea
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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