I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
