Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Randomize
