her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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