Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
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I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
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Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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