She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
