She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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