okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
