ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
