if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize