Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
