I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
