Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize