Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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