Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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