Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
