Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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