lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
i now understand why vodka
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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