I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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