That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
