you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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