Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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