If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize