just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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