she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
