So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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