How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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